Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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