Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
