Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
