She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
