Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
