doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this will be a night to untag.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
