I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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