I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
