Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
