the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
