When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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