Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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