that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
