Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize