What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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