Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize