Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
