After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize