East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
