dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
