im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
