I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
