cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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