New invention idea: vibrating tampons
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
