i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
