so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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