And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
