You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
