i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm always down for nudity.
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