I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
