Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
