redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
