but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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