She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
