Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
