If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want her autograph on my taint
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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