Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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