I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize