Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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