you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hippo gnu deer
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
