haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I look better un-naked...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize