i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize