I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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