I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
