Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
