The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm eating all of the evidence.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize