I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
lets start a swedish sibling band together
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You were trust falling into bushes
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I have peed in a lot of sinks
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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