we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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