HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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