Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
this boner is exhausting
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
