my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
