Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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