I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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