the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize