i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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