There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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