I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
