When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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