Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
