using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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