he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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