I smell stomach acid.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
