Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize